Life without Caffeine
And books, books, more books
Dear readers and writers,
It’s been exactly five months since I gave up caffeine. It’s been the hardest substance I’ve ever put down, harder than sugar and flour, harder than alcohol. Why?
Because caffeine made me feel happy, powerful, excited, competent, smart. Because caffeine gave me the willingness to do things I couldn’t (can’t) get myself to do, e.g. get up in the morning before 7am, go to the gym or run in the morning, write novels to name a few. Now, without caffeine, I’m at the whim of my body’s natural rhythms and proclivities. I don’t actually want to wake up in the morning. What’s the point without the aroma of coffee to lure me out of bed? So I roll down the stairs around 8am. The last thing I want to do is exercise. I’m lucky if I get dressed by the time I need to show up to my Morning Seeding & Tending group to read them a prompt and do a little writing myself.
And yet. Somehow, even without all the caffeinated striving, I do manage to get some things done. This past fall turned out to be one of the happiest and productive of my life. Katryna and I started our Welcome Table Chorus, and we’re now on our second session, with enrollment over 90 singers. Our final Fall concert at the Bombyx raised over $3400 for the Food Bank of Western MA. (You can watch that here! Scroll to minute 16—there’s a lot of dead space in the video). I chaired 30 Poems in November, sending out prompts daily and writing a poem or a song a day myself. The fundraiser for Center for New Americans was a huge success—we raised over $100,000. I wrote several new songs, including “Bang Bang,” which we will sing at the Iron Horse on February 7. Our own shows have been very well-attended (I’ve managed to perform OK uncaffeinated), and during our recent tour opening for Dar Williams, every show was sold out. I still do my PT every day for my chronically weak shoulders and upper back, and every day I go for a walk.
Some force is helping me––I am increasingly convinced of this. Something is showing up in the vacuum left by caffeine, and it is very quiet and stealthy and kind. My job is not to mess with it. It feels like a miracle to go about the day without the energy that used to fuel me, that ran through my nerves like an engine. Now there is nothing. And yet, the body still moves, the mind still creates. Who knew?
I haven’t met a person yet who loved 2025. What was with that year???? I can only tell my own stories here, but people close to me have endured some of the worst life circumstances humans go through. In my own little biosphere, as you know, I broke my wrist, endured a hideous bout of RSV, got shingles AND impetigo, plus a crown fell off of my molar. Still, somehow, we all got through somehow, at least everyone reading this did. Congratulations. Let’s shake off the dirt and proceed.
Here’s to 2026. May new shoots bloom and grow within you. Thank you for reading this and for supporting my work.
Nerissa
Books I got for Christmas!!!!
My family has been paying attention to my insane fascination with words, etymology, language families. Not pictured: Skippy Dies by Paul Murray, my last read of 2025 and SO GOOD that I kissed the book when I finished it.
I just finished Clear by Carys Davies, and OMG!!!! Read this short, gorgeous novel!!! It’s about an impoverished Presbyterian minister who’s tasked with traveling to a fictional island north east of the Shetlands in Scotland, and as part of the Highland Clearances, he must evict the one remaining human, a man named Ivar who speaks only Norn, a now-extinct language. You will thank me.
Now I am reading The Horse The Wheel and Language, and my little head is full of proto-Indo-European language roots. Finally, my parents gave me a deck of cards of no-longer-used English words. Anyone know what a scaramouch was? (Will you do the fandango?)
Retreats
Spring Equinox Retreat will be the weekend of March 20-22, 2026. Springtime is a great time to start a new project or go deeper into an existing one. Generative writing retreat, open to all genres. Come in person or via Zoom–-the retreat is hybrid! Per-day option also available; email writingitupinthegarden@gmail.com for information.
Morning Seeding & Tending is thriving! For the mere schmere price of becoming a paid subscriber to this newsletter, you too can have a dedicated writing time every morning at 10am with a prompt and a screenful of friendly faces to kick you off.
Morning Seeding & Tending
Morning Seeding & Tending, is an accountability group of dedicated writers who show up, set intentions in the chat, listen to a prompt (or not) and then get the writing quotient for the day done. “Done” being, at times, better than “brilliant and immortal.”
The Zoom room is open Monday-Friday 10am-11 am East Coast USA Time. We begin with a short greeting and prompt (quotation/poem fragment which will be emailed daily to all subscribers), then set intentions in the chat. We write with our microphones muted. If you arrive late, no problem. When the timer goes off at 11, we’ll say a quick goodbye. You can come late and/or leave Zoom early. You can mull over your plot and characters. Outline. Write a query letter, or submit for a fellowship. You can zip out 1000 words. Or write a series of Social Media posts, or blog. Or make a video. Or write a song. Or a recipe! It’s up to you. This is your time.
If you are already a paid subscriber, or if you presently become one, you’ll receive an email from WritingItUpInTheGarden@gmail.com inviting you to join the group. If you choose to join, respond with a “yes” and you’ll be added to the daily list, given the zoom address and daily prompts, and all that writing you were hoping to do would magically get done. I hope you will join us!
So glad you got a copy of Apostasies! It's an incredible book, and Holli is a true marvel of a human being. She's reading for my virtual series, What The Universe Is, on January 22 at 7:30pm Eastern - bit.ly/WTUIJan2026 is the registration link if you're available!